nothing is worst then my feeling now ~

hais.am having a guilty + upset feeling right now.Ah heng asked me to go over to help him out and in the end all in a mess.Feeling so guilty.First give a customer wrong price bout a iphone batt.Secondly,sold to a customer a phone which is under our cost.Thirdly,nv go for work.And he call my bf.Instead of getting angry and ignore me,he still sms me and apologise to me. zzz . feeling so guilty.How come on earth im lidat??so useless as wad my bf say me?NV DIE ALSO USELESS ~ ONLY KNOW HOW TO EAT SLP AND SMOKE~ ??hais. i really have no idea why im lidat.mayb if i were to die, i won create anymore trouble for those who really loves me.espcially my parents.Always wanting to earn lots of money for them.but in the end i spend it away.and didnt get serious bout jobs.Am i really born to work in pubs?? i also want to be a useful ppl that may help those ard me but why my mind and body bu zhen qi ~ can anyone tell me wad the hell i should really do? The smiling,laughing,joker and carefree girl wher are u. im still dwelling in the past.i really must buck up le~!!! hope to jia you and make a difference in my life.